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" What Causes Premature Ejaculation ?

"To control premature ejaculation
you have to know the cause of it"

There are usually only two things that will cause premature ejaculation: Anxiety   and   Inexperience 

If you come to fast and want help to control premature ejaculation, you have to learn to recognize either one, or both of those problems in your sexual live.

Rarely is there a physical cause for premature ejaculation, as many manufactures of desensitize sprays and creams want you to believe.

They lie when they tell you premature ejaculation is caused by you being hyper sensitive. On the contrary it is more likely you haven't felt the sexual sensations enough to learn to recognize them.

Now, lets take a better look at the two causes (Anxiety and Inexperience) .

Anxiety causing premature ejaculation
Anxiety can off course been caused by many things, but most common cause for comming to fast is performance anxiety.

  • You want to look good.
  • You want to do good.
  • You want to please her.
  • You don't want to feel the shame of being less than average.

...but, if you are to stressed your tension gets the better of you, causing you to come too fast.

There are many other causes for anxiety. You might be scared of getting her pregnant. You might be worried of getting diseases . You might be afraid your mother finds out, or god finds out (seriously).

There might also be some tension between you and your partner. Something unspoken. There is no way to have intimate sex when there is angerin the air. This can easily led to anxiety causing you not being able to control your premature ejaculation.

When I had my worst case of premature ejaculation friend of mine helped me by pointing something out.

My girlfriend was dying to get pregnant. I had no awareness of this. And even less awareness of my fear of becoming a father.

...but after we talked it through, and she owned her longing and I owned my fear, I managed to control my ejaculation way better than before.

After this I started to notice that what caused my premature ejaculate was often some unspoken anger I had towards her, for what ever reason. My best way for controlling premature ejaculation, was to talk everything out before we had intercourse.

Inexperience causing premature ejaculation
This does not necessary mean you haven't had lot of sex.

Friend of mine has been with over hundred women, and I still consider him inexperienced.

Why?

...Because, beside the fact that he can't control his premature ejaculation longer than half a minute. Most of his sex live has only been one night stands, or few weeks flaw.

Considering this he has probably not been inside a woman for more than few minutes his whole live (and you thought you were bad, smile).

He has never been really connected to any woman. And I don't think he has ever felt the sensation of sex deeply enough to learn to recognize the stages men go through when they have sex.

Having sex men go through four stages:

  1. You get aroused, you have a hard on and can enter the woman.
  2. You pump in and out, the tension grows stronger, and stronger.
  3. You come to the point of no return, you wont be able to control the ejaculation.
  4. You ejaculate, and usually come at the same time.

...Now, if you are not experienced with the sensations of those stages, you wont be able to recognize the feeling when you are getting closer to stage four. Therefore you can't take the necessary action to control your premature ejaculation.

The best way to learn to recognize the sensations is to do some exercises and techniques, I talk more about them later.

So what solutions do you have for anxiety and inexperience that cause premature ejaculation?

Good question. Click here to continue…